| Thu, Jul 21, 2005. Wedding blues |  | angry |
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There is a wedding that I have to attend in Chicago and, lucky me, I am one of the bridesmaids. As such I will be subjected to countless humiliations including but not limited to picturetaking (and we all know what my pictures look like), standing in a church for an hour or two with the most atrocious bouquet of flowers you have ever seen, and you wont be able to miss me--I will be the girl looking like an overgrown pale pink pig waiting to be butchered. The dress that the bride chose is not bad, but I can't imagine a dress that is worse suited for my figure and weight issues. Not only its sateen, which is merciless when it comes to highlighting each and every crease and crevice of fat on my body, its of a pale pink color that looks very much like my skin creating overall piggy effect. To continue, my breasts, together with the waist, look non-existant; the only good parts of me that are noticeable are my wiiide hips and my biiiig stomach.
Anyway, I will have to wear this pretty-pretty dress and look happy in the process all the while asking myself what the fucking hell am I doing here? And to be honest I dont get all that bridesamid bullshit. Why the fuck would a ukrainian bred and born bride need a flock of freaking upset and bitchy bridesmaids who cant wait to get out of the stupid getup and possibly enjoy themselves? Can anyone explain it to a stupid fresh off the boater? |
