---------------------------------------------------------------
There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom. She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up.The pharmacist said,"What brand of condoms to you prefer ma'am."She said,"I'm not sure,they're for my Camels," at which point he fainted.
A guy walks into a local pharmacy and walks up to the counter where a lady pharmacist is filling prescriptions. When she finally gets around to helping him he says, "I'd like 99 condoms please."
With a surprised look on her face the pharmacist says,"99 Condoms|? Fuck me|" to which the guy replies, "Make it 100."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A young woman, two months pregnant, went to see her obstetrician. He was in a hurry to leave on an emergency call, so he asked her to quickly bare her stomach, then reached into his desk and took out a rubber stamp, which he pressed beside her navel.He then rushed off.
At home,she and her husband tried to read the tiny words printed on her belly, but they were too small. They then found a magnifying glass and tried to read the words;the stamp read:"When your husband can read this without his glasses, it's time to get yourself to the hospital."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labor and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins|"
The man replied,"How about that,I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr.Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr.Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."
The gentleman that was sitting next to me then gotup and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked,"I think I need a breath of fresh air. "The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs. Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Miss Jones, I said 'Prick his boil|'"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A young doctor just out of medical school announced to his wife that he planned to specialize in gynecology. When she asked him why he chose gynecology, he said simply, "There's lots of openings."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Two gynecologists meet on a conference.As usual,they tell each other what cases they have had the past year.
1: Well, I have had a patient with breasts, just like melons.
2: Incredible, so big?
1: Yes!
2: But I had a patient with a clitoris, just like a lemon.
1: Waaw, so big?
2: No, so sour
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This guy goes to the pharmacist and says, "Listen, these two girls are coming to my place for the weekend and they are hot, very hot. Would you have something to get me going all night.It is going to be a hell of a party."
The pharmacist goes in the back room, comes back with an old dusty bottle and says, "This stuff is very potent, you drink only one ounce of it and I guarantee that you'll be doing the wild thing all night. Let me know about it."
The weekend goes by and on Monday morning,the pharmacist is going to work and at the door of the drug store, the same fellow is there waiting for him. The pharmacist says, "What are you doing here so early? How was your weekend?"
The guy replies, "Quick open the store, I need Blue Ice ( a pain muscle reliever).
The pharmacist, knowing what the guy had been doing all weekend, says, "Are you crazy, you can't put that on your penis. The skin is way too sensitive."
The guy says, "It's not for my penis, it's for my arm."
Pharmacist says, "What?? What happened?"
Guy replies, "Well...I drank the whole bottle of your potion."
Pharmacist says, "And..."
Guy replies, "The girls never showed up|"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.
"May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks.
"Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist."
He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a "male problem."
She informs him that only she & her sister work at this particular establishment.
He blushes and says, "Well, I really do need help, so I guess I'll ask you...I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it.It's been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?"
The woman looks thoughtful,and says,"Hold on, I'll go in back and ask my sister."
After a couple of minutes she returns and says,"We'll give you half of the business and it's profits, but that's all we can give you for it..."